Sunday, February 3, 2008

Microsoft goes after Yahoo...

By now you must know at least two things... that 1) Microsoft discovered a way to spend its immense cash reserves in trying to acquire Yahoo and 2) that Daniel Lyons (aka Fake Steve Jobs or FSJ) is one of my favorite bloggers... with a link to his page right here on this blog (see left under my profile pic).

The reason I like Daniel's writing, pretending to be Steve Jobs, is that he's got a unique way to talk about things that I haven't seen before. Not all his postings are fun but quite a few among them (almost all about Billary or the Clintstones sure do) are just classics. Go visit his latest posting on the proposed deal Microsoft/Yahoo. It's one of his best. Plenty of humor but lots of truth as well. Here's an appetizer:

"...The Borg-Yahoo merger won't work. Here's why. It's like taking the two guys who finished second and third in a 100-yard dash and tying their legs together and asking for a rematch, believing that now they'll run faster.

Here's the weird thing: I first heard that line about the 100-yard dash from Ballmer himself, maybe a decade ago.
See, the biggest mistake people make about Monkey Boy is thinking he's dumb. Trust me, he's not dumb. I've known him for years and he's really, really smart. Like scary smart, freako IQ, way high on standardized tests all his life. He remembers everyone he's ever met. He remembers every detail of every meeting and loves to freak out little junior Borgsters by recalling everything that happened at some random one-off from months or even years before. Total photographic memory.

The problem is not that he lacks IQ. Sure he's Rain Man when it comes to remembering things. The problem is he has no vision, and no imagination. He's all left brain. Hence this Yahoo offer. All he can see is that Google keeps beating the snot out of Microsoft and after all these years his coders still can't create a search engine that works as well as Google's and no matter what Microsoft does they can't catch up. He's tired of banging his head against the wall, so finally he just says, To hell with it, let's buy someone and see what happens. His board is just as tired and bereft of ideas so they say, Sure, whatever, go for it..."

Continue reading...

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