Friday, May 29, 2009

Bill, It's No Good, a.k.a. BING!

Fact 1: Search is key to dominating the "i" universe.
Fact 2: Google is the Emperor of Search.
Fact 3: Microsofties are going after Search and Google like they went after WordPerfect and Novell in the nineties.
Fact 4: Bing, Microsoft's answer to Search, is getting launched next Wednesday, June 3rd

Question (everybody' asking): Wow or Duh?

I don't know, I wouldn't know. I took a look at the Bing footage and got the following impression. It looks like a damn paella! All sorts of functionality thrown to the pot, much of which we have seen evolving in Search engines over time. Some new ideas here and there as well. You often need some fresh ingredients to make paella too, not only left-overs and doggy bag! All these functions thrown over the Search wall, into a rusted stewpot and stirred hard and there jumps out Bing (not Crosby, you wish, that one died ages ago). Maybe some of this Search stuff has been redesigned to look more appealing in terms of UI, but, that will be the day that MSFT designed a descent UI, for a change. It all looks so damn Windows 3.11. Microsoft seems to love text to death. The world gets minimalist by the day. Google's homepage is literally an empty blank page with just a Search field in the middle and a few more click options (like "feeling lucky") here and there. Apple uses simple and fresh but quite elegant UI designs. Everywhere you look, Less is More! Microsoft, on the contrary, showers us with text and pop-ups with more text, and titles, and lists and tables and color graphs, and even more underlined hyperlinks, and some images and... OMG! I got nauseous by just looking at their video footage showing off myriads of Bing textual layouts made to address all of your Search desires, and listening to that dude talking, a Microsoft LiveSearch Director, the young lad with the Trotsky goggles, explaining the gazillion Bing options, to fullfil all your heart's wishes from next Wednesday to eternity. Bing promises to do everything for you! 'Can it jerk you off, too?' my Greek cousin Mikes* from Athens would have asked on the occasion... probably, it could!

Good luck, Bingo! For Mario's, Geert's and Dave's sake**!

UPDATE: Just finished watching this week's Cranky Geeks episode. Glad to mention that the known pundits share my opinion too. The likes of John C. Dvorak, Sebastian Rupley and that pain on the neck 'know-it-all' from Revision 3, Jim Louderback! All agree that there's nothing 'real' able to threaten Google, even remotely...
*Mikes is a real person, a radiologist in a Piraeus hospital. One of his legendary quotes goes like this: If you ever come across a boat on the summit of a mountain, it's been for sure a darn female that parked it there...
(Αν βρεις καράβι στο βουνό, μουνί το'χει αράξει! - in Greek)

**Good lads and pals who made the mistake to join Microsoft until they retire...

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