Phthalates...

Phtha... whaaat ?!?*$!?

Honest to Goad, it took me some time to first realize what Pilates was, having heard my friend Nikos regularly performing them at the gym! Now I got another ...lates term. Sounds like Starbucks Grand Lattes, doesn't it?

Turns out Phthalates is a hazardous chemical banned from many places of the 'civilized' world (that's SF and the EU to y'all) for potentially harming consumers. Read here what I found in the Wikipedia article (to scream for):

"...Phthalates are also frequently used in nail polish, fishing lures, adhesives, caulk, paint pigments, and sex toys made of so-called "jelly rubber." Some vendors of jelly rubber sex toys advise covering them in condoms when used internally, due to the possible health risks. Other vendors do not carry jelly rubber sex toys, in favor of phthalate-free varieties.^[1] The Dutch office of Greenpeace UK sought to encourage the European Union to ban sex toys that contained phthalates.^[2]..."

Why do I bother? Here's why!

"...According to Greenpeace the tests revealed chemicals that included “phthalates” in the vinyl plastic earphone wiring at levels that are prohibited in young children’s toys in San Francisco and the European Union (EU)..."

Yep! They talk about the iPhone again, right? Greenpeace scrutinized its earphone wiring plastic in a big-ass forensic analysis (as part of the CSI-Greenpeace soap) and found evidence of PhthaBS in it. So, hear this, dads of boys with developing testes : Don't buy your kids an iPhone (or, better said, do buy them one 'cos it's so fun, but throw those 'hazardous' earphones away... or risk having them boys turn into... sissies). And to kids mums: use the real thing... throw jelly look alikes away. Stay healthy, gals!

What can I say... I thought that analysis is crazy on its own merit; if you looked hard and long enough on any object, artificial or natural, you'll definitely come up with some substance -maybe in quantities of one or two molecules if you are real lucky- with hazardous effects of some sort, on humans or pets. I thought that was it... but little I knew! It took a millisec for some other moron group to go after Apple Inc. with a lawsuit threat based on Greenpeace's latest 'discovery'. It must be real cool to work for Apple's legal dept. these days, innit?

And so, a gazzilion tabloids for geeks waiting to cover such events, and scores of frigtard lawyers keeping busy with sucking blood, just keep on smiling...

Reminds me of the Q&A:

Q: What do you call 100 lawyers chained to 100 paparazzi's at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!